apastlove_fic

Title: Illuminated
Author: Ragna (scandalbaby)
Rating: PG
Fandoms: Sherlock/Doctor Who
Characters: Sherlock Holmes/Amy Pond.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. I wish I did, but I don't. They all belong to the BBC and Steven Moffat, to varying degrees. Sherlock also belongs to Mark Gatiss. The original Sherlock Holmes characters belong to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Summary: She’s made her decision. She’s ready now, or at least she’s pretty sure she is. Now she just needs to tell him, because she promised he would be the first to know.
Authors Notes: For killerqueenz, whose habit I am happily providing fic for. I hope you like this. BTW, no, she is not going to change her mind. I'm not that cruel.

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It was about a week before Valentine’s Day when she really started to get depressed. She used to love Valentine’s Day, both before she started dating Rory and while they were married. It was her favorite holiday of the year, next to Halloween. And this year she’d be single and alone. And she didn’t want to be single and alone. And there was a very handsome man who would be more than willing to date her, and he even lived in the same building as she did.

On February tenth she sat at her vanity, staring at her left hand. She looked at it long and hard, weighing a few decisions in her mind. The Doctor had delivered River’s notebook to her the day after New Year’s, saying that as her mother she should have it. She had never seen him look so old and so sad as she did that day. She had taken it and started to read it, learning more about her daughter’s life as River Song. But it was one passage that she kept going back to, one about her and Sherlock. She stopped looking at her hand and reached for the book, flipping it open.

Christmas, 2021. Saw Sherlock for the first time since he rescued my mother. He loves her very much, and I just wish they would hurry up and start dating. I know she misses my father but from all the research I did on him for my thesis I know he gives her a good life and they’re happy. I just don’t want her to be sad anymore.

She closed it again and went back to looking at her hand. Was she really ready to move on? Honestly and truly ready? If she said she was and then it turned out she wasn’t she didn’t know what Sherlock’s reaction would be. And was she rushing because of a stupid holiday? Or because this was what her daughter wanted? Or was she just scared and putting it off for that reason?

She knew she loved Sherlock. A part of her always had, even when she was with Rory, and in the time since she’d come back it had just grown and blossomed, but she was too chicken to do anything about it. God, she wished she could talk to someone about it. Molly had told her when her rings bothered her she was probably ready. And she was so tired of being alone. There was no sudden flash of insight on her behalf, but she knew, deep down, that Sherlock might only wait so long. She didn’t want to lose him, and as she knew well, history could always be rewritten.

She moved her hand closer to her and reached for her wedding band. She took it off, and then went for her engagement ring and took that off as well. She looked at the rings in the palm of her hand, and realized that having the rings off made her feel more free. She moved her jewelry box closer, opened it, and carefully set her rings inside. Then she went to the common room. When she had gone to her room Sherlock had been studying a case. She hoped he was still awake.

She heard the violin before she saw him standing by the window. She leaned against the doorjamb and listened for a bit, a smile on her face. When he was done she began to clap, and he turned to look at her. “I thought you had gone to bed for the night,” he said, lowering the violin.

“I just wanted some alone time to do some thinking,” she said, coming into the room. “Had a few decisions I needed to make.”

“Did you get offered a new modeling job?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No. Bigger decision than that.” She held up her left hand, hoping he got the hint.

He looked at her as she came closer. “You took your wedding bands off,” he said quietly.

She nodded. “I figured if I was going to ask you out on a date I probably shouldn’t be wearing them,” she said.

“So you are ready to start dating again?” he asked as she came to stand in front of him, an arm’s length away.

“I think so. I’m mostly sure,” she said. “There was a bit in River’s diary. She said we have a good life together. I’ve been re-reading that part over and over, and tonight I just decided I would go for it. I want a nice life, and I want you in it as more than my friend.”

He set his violin down and then stepped closer to her, closing the gap. “If you change your mind again, I won’t be upset. But…I am happy you made the decision.”

“I don’t think I’ll be changing my mind this time,” she said. “But it’s good to know just in case.”

“So now what?” he asked. He reached up and touched her face gently, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Now we go out on a date. Just us, doing something normal people do on dates. Not that we haven’t done that sometimes as friends, but…” she shrugged slightly. “We just take it slow.”

“All right,” he said.

“It does mean you’re allowed to kiss me, though,” she said with a smile.

“May I kiss you now?” he asked.

She nodded slightly. “Yes.” She put her hands on his waist, and he snaked his fingers around as they both leaned in. This kiss was different than the one in her home, or the one she had given him Christmas day. This kiss held a promise, and she thought it was all the more sweeter for it. She kissed him until she needed to breathe again, and he rested his forehead against hers. “That was nice,” she said.

“It was,” he murmured. He lowered his hand and she put her arms around his neck as he settled his hands on her waist. “Could we do it again?”

“Of course,” she said with a slight laugh, and then he was kissing her again and for the first time in a long while, all was right with her world.